Feeling Blue, Seeing Red
by Threepwillow
Summary: Kuwabara's used to his self imposed synesthesia, but he isn't used to Yusuke avoiding him or Kurama being so damn smug about things. A surprise party isn't the only secret people are keeping. :::Oneshot, KuwabaraxYusuke:::


Kuwabara remembered, every so often, a time in school where a teacher had talked about something called _synesthesia_. It had seemed like just another big, stupid word back then, but now he was starting to like the concept, because it almost applied to _him_. See, spirit awareness was a tricky thing, even for people where it came naturally. It took a while for Kuwabara to map the correct feelings onto the right kinds of people - demons, humans, that weirdo _"good guy"_ energy - and even longer to learn to sense out individual people. But the shortcut he found to do it - it seemed so _simple_ looking back on it - was to map each of the feelings onto a color.

For example, he was thinking as they walked downtown with Urameshi, Keiko's energy was a pristine white. Normal human beings generally were, though he knew his own was pretty yellowed, and his sister's was almost golden. It was kind of a continuum when it came to regular people - the more spirit awareness you had, the more you started to understand the other realms, the yellower it got. But it was rare for him to run into just a guy on the street or a classmate at school that was more than off-white.

The demons, meanwhile, all had their own weird colors. They definitely took the longest, because they weren't so easy to lump together in a category or two. And a lot of them didn't even make sense. Kurama's energy was _green_. Kuwabara had always associated Kurama with that girly pinkish-red color of his human form's school outfit, not to mention his even girlier long red hair. But then he came to realize that Kurama's other big thing was _plants_, and that kinda worked for him. Kuwabara figured a lot of the animal-type, nature-type demons were probably green. The thing that weirded him out even more than that, though, was that Hiei's energy was black. Kuwabara didn't know how something could glow _black_, but Hiei did. He'd never really liked Hiei, but it somehow got worse when one of the other people he encountered that glowed black was _Toguro_.

"What're you spacing out about, Kuwabara?" snapped Urameshi, waving a hand in front of his face.

Kuwabara shook himself mentally. "Oh, sorry. I was just uh...thinking about some homework that I needed to do."

Urameshi snorted. "Yeah _right_. Since when do you do homework?"

"Since I don't want to fail this grade, stupid!"

"You're the stupid one that's about to fail, stupid!"

"Can you guys stop being big babies for one afternoon?" Keiko asked with an all-suffering sigh. Kuwabara had the decency to hang his head apologetically, but Urameshi just turned away from her and scowled. They kept walking, heading toward the Yukimuras' ramen place where they were going to get dinner, and Kuwabara found himself turning to Urameshi.

Like Botan, Urameshi now sported this weird _blue_ energy. Ever since he'd come back from the dead, something about him had shifted - like, his cosmic makeup or whatever. Now, he wasn't quite human, but he definitely wasn't a demon either. He was blue. And the only way Kuwabara could describe it was that he was a good guy. He wasn't quite as _blue_-blue as Botan was - it was still swirled with a bunch of white, and sometimes spiked much darker than even Botan's did - but Urameshi was decidedly not a normal human being. (Not that he had ever been normal anyway, Kuwabara snickered to himself.)

But he had to come back out of his musings again, because they were at the diner now, and Keiko's dad was asking for his order. Kuwabara told him, and then they sat down in a booth, with Keiko on one side so she could chat with her mother and Urameshi squeezing into the other side after him. As he slid across the plastic seat, Urameshi bumped into him a little, hip to hip.

And that's when shit got weird, because for two or three seconds, Urameshi's spirit energy flared up a glistening orange-red.

Kuwabara turned to look at Urameshi, half-expecting some kind of monster to jump out of his mouth or crawl out of his ear canal or something, but as soon as it was there it was gone again, and the most Kuwabara could find was the faintest, faintest hint of purple, buried deep within the swirls of Urameshi's spirit. For a moment or two Urameshi was looking the other way, and Kuwabara couldn't see his face, but then he turned back around and seemed as much like his usual self as ever.

"What are you starin' at, Kuwabara?"

"Oh, uh, nothin'," he said quickly, "I was just staring off into space again." He grinned, maybe a little over-eager to cover up his curiosity. "Then again, staring at your head is about the same as staring at empty space _anyway_, so - "

"Say that again, peabrain?" Urameshi growled, but deep down, they each knew the other was joking...mostly.

And deep down, Urameshi had stopped showing any signs of purple at all.

-xxx-

Two weeks later, Kuwabara had almost completely forgotten about it. He and some pals were walking home from school when some jerk and his jerk posse tried to jump them, and Kuwabara just laughed on the inside as he held back all but the tiniest bit of what he could do and still kicked their asses. He got home and was taking off his shoes and tossing down his school bag when the phone started ringing. Fumbling, he dashed into the kitchen and answered it.

"Uh, hello?"

"Hey, Kuwabara!" cried a woman's voice, almost too excitedly and without quite enough enunciation. "It's me, Urameshi Atsuko. How ya doin'?"

"Oh, uh, hi there. If you're looking for Urameshi - uh, Yusuke - he's not here right now..."

"No, no, Kuwabara, I wanna talk to you!" she insisted gleefully. "Listen, listen. Next week izza anniversary of that time when Yusuke was...when he went away and then came back." It took Kuwabara a moment to realize that Atsuko meant "that time when he died," but he could see why she wouldn't particularly want to talk about it. "An' I wanna throw a party. Yeah? As like...a surprise?"

"Uh, sure..."

"So I wanna get some help...fr'm you and Yusuke's other friends, mmkay? So if you could just...talk to some of 'em...like that one with the pretty red hair, or whoever. I'm gonna talk to Keiko too...ahahahaha!" She started laughing at something that was going on in the background and didn't seem to plan on stopping any time soon, so Kuwabara just politely excused himself - on the off-chance that she was still actually listening - and hung up.

A surprise party for Urameshi? Frankly, Kuwabara didn't think he'd be too thrilled with the idea, but if Atsuko had gone through the trouble of calling him in the first place, it obviously meant a lot to her. He figured the least he could do was to do as she'd asked and invite Kurama. Grabbing a juice box from the fridge, he left a note for Shizuru and headed out to the home of the human Minamino Shuichi and his mother. But about two-thirds of the way there, Kuwabara ran into none other than Urameshi himself. He almost hadn't recognized him because his hair wasn't gelled back like normal; Kuwabara didn't like it when he left his hair down, because he just somehow didn't feel like _Urameshi_ like that. By the time they made eye contact, Kuwabara was already starting to panic - he just knew he'd slip up and mention the party by accident. But Urameshi, upon seeing him, turned and darted away. Confused, Kuwabara's eyes followed his escape route...and widened a bit in shock when his spirit energy morphed fleetingly to that reddish color again.

"That's so weird," he mumbled to himself as he kept walking to Kurama's place. It was almost like Urameshi was avoiding him - come to think of it, he hadn't seen too much of him at school lately. Not that Kuwabara expected him to come to school on a regular basis anyway, but with this weird incident the absence could almost take on a different meaning.

He arrived at Kurama's house and knocked on the door. To his surprise, his mother answered, and after exchanging some polite niceties she told him that Shuichi was up in his room working on a project for school. Kuwabara thanked her and headed up the stairs. He didn't need to ask which room was his - he could feel the green energy of Kurama's demon spirit radiating out from behind the first door on the right. It was so strange to experience: if Kuwabara looked straight at him, he was all red, and if he closed his eyes he was solid green.

"A party for Yusuke?" Kurama echoed once Kuwabara had explained the concept. "I didn't think Atsuko had it in her."

"I guess she doesn't, really, or she wouldn't'a had to ask me," said Kuwabara.

Kurama chuckled. "Yes, there is that. Well, I hope she won't be terribly upset if I don't invite Hiei. He's not really the...party type."

"Oh geez, you wouldn't really, wouldja?" said Kuwabara, and then they were both laughing.

When the laughter died down, though, he finally brought himself to ask the question that had been sitting on him the entire time. "So, uh, Kurama, lemme ask you somethin'...kinda weird."

"What is it, Kuwabara?"

"You're good with spirit energy and stuff, right?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"So you...you know how people's energy feels like...colors?"

Kurama smiled. "I'd never really thought about it that way, but I can see where you would. Go on."

"What happens when someone that's supposed to be one color kind of...turns a different color, then?" he asked. "Just for a couple of seconds?"

Kurama pondered this. "Well, I know when I change from my human form to my demon form, the composition of my energy shifts a little." He smiled at Kuwabara. "You probably perceive it as a shift from a lighter spring green to more like jade."

Kuwabara thought about this and realized he was right. "That's not what I mean, though," he said. "I'm talkin' about like...it's supposed to be blue and it turns totally red. Just for a couple of seconds, and then it goes back..."

"I've never really experienced that in anyone," Kurama admitted, a bit baffled. "His spiritual makeup would have to be something very strange for that to occur, and it would probably happen at instances of great emotional overload or duress."

_What kind of emotional overload would Urameshi...??_ Kuwabara thought. It didn't make a lot of sense, but it did give him a little more to think about, so Kurama had helped a little. "Huh, weird. Well, thanks anyway. I'll try to uh, make sure you know what's going on with this weird party thing next week. Just don't tell Urameshi about it."

"Hardly," said Kurama. "It wouldn't be much of a surprise party then, would it?"

-xxx-

The conclusion that Kuwabara had reached was that Urameshi hated him.

They hadn't seen each other since that weird day in the street, so Kuwabara was pretty sure that Urameshi was flat-out avoiding him. And while on the one hand that had been convenient, because keeping the party a secret had been incredibly easy... well, Urameshi never went out of his way to do anything that took that much effort unless he had a _really_ good reason - he was lazy by nature - so this was obviously something pretty extreme. And combined with what Kurama had said about violent emotions and stuff, Kuwabara was convinced that he'd just done something to piss Urameshi off so bad that he couldn't even look at him. Both times his energy had flickered red like that had been direct results of contact with Kuwabara. There was nothing else it could be.

Unfortunately, the time had now come for the party, and they were going to have to see each other whether they wanted to or not. Keiko had heroically undertaken most of the party's planning, much to Kuwabara's relief, so all he really had to do beyond actually showing up was to bring paper plates and napkins. There were a bunch of snacks, some soft drinks (and some not-so-soft drinks, per Atsuko's usual), and a substantially-sized cake that read _Yusuke's Home To Stay_ in Botan-blue frosting. While Keiko took Urameshi out on a hoax of a shopping trip, Kuwabara snuck into the house and helped Botan, Kurama, Atsuko and Mitarai finish setting up. Kuwabara was glad Mitarai had shown up, even if he couldn't stay for the whole time. Otherwise it would just be him, a demon, and a bunch of _girls_ when he finally had to confront Urameshi on this whole thing. Somebody else on the yellow-white spectrum of things was really reassuring.

At the muffled sounds of Keiko's voice outside the front door, everyone hid behind various pieces of furniture. Kuwabara thought it was kind of a cliché surprise party idea, but then he realized that this way, he wouldn't have to come face to face with Urameshi without warning. He stayed behind the sofa with Botan as Keiko opened the door.

"Surprise!" cried everyone, Atsuko loudest of all. Urameshi jumped - his own spirit awareness had always been lousy - and then started laughing. He seemed genuinely excited about the party. It was nice to hear Urameshi so happy, considering he was usually being either angry or snide about most things in life. He kind of deserved it.

Then Kuwabara rose slowly from behind the sofa, and they made long overdue eye contact. As if on cue, Urameshi's energy flickered hotly, but this time when the orange-red hue backed off, it didn't vanish entirely. He sat stewing at a purple-tinged blue but said nothing, and instead made straight for the cake.

Other than their interactions being incredibly stilted, the rest of the party went great. The cake was actually really delicious - Keiko said she'd made it herself, and everyone was very impressed. When Mitarai took off Atsuko ended up leaving too, heading out to a much..._different_ party of her own, but not without assuring her son that she loved him and she was so, so happy that the heavens hadn't taken him away from her after all. Once his face sported several big, smeary lipstick kisses, he finally pried her off him and kicked her out the door. The party was reduced to five, and it was getting harder and harder for the two of them - for Urameshi to keep avoiding him, and for Kuwabara to ignore the purplish fizzle of Urameshi's energy.

He tried to discreetly bring it up again with Kurama. "D'ya see what I was talking about, the other day at your place?" he mumbled.

"A bit, yes," Kurama said, not actually looking at Kuwabara and disguising their conversation behind a glass of...something (had Botan cracked into Atsuko's liquor after all?). "I really couldn't tell you what was going on with it."

"He's mad at me, I just know it," said Kuwabara, "but I don't know _why_."

"Well then, perhaps you should ask him yourself." But something about the way Kurama said it seemed a little too smug.

"I can't just do that, y'know. He won't even talk to me!"

"It's obviously bothering you an awful lot, Kuwabara," he said, and now he was _definitely_ too smug. "You ought to do _something_ about it."

But Kuwabara just sat there, eating his third little square of cake and watching Urameshi yell at Botan out of the corner of his eye.

It turned out Botan really _had_ cracked into Atsuko's liquor. Kuwabara didn't know when he had accidentally picked up a drink that was very much _not pop_, but one had led to two and now he was definitely feeling a little...funny. Funny enough that Botan and Kurama were outlined in fuzzy halos of green and blue where they sat laughing at something or another on the sofa. Keiko appeared to be trying to scold them all, but she too was a bit out of it, and couldn't put much effort behind it. Urameshi, meanwhile, was sitting with a large cup in the corner, being awfully silent and glowing the purplest yet. It occurred to Kuwabara that he really had something to say to Urameshi, that he ought to say _right now_...if he could only remember what it was. Oh, that was it! Urameshi was angry at him!

He walked with the slightest of stumbles over to Urameshi's chair and leaned against the wall in front of it. "U...Urameshi." Yeah, that was smooth.

"Damnit, Kuwabara, go away."

"Look, Urameshi, if you hate me, just go ahead an' say it," Kuwabara said suddenly. "I know you've been avoiding me for a while now, and I talked to Kurama about your...irit spenergy...'cause it's a funny color. And he says it's 'cause your emotions are..." What was the word he'd used? "_Under duress_. So if you hate me, I just want you to tell me, so that I know, 'n' we can go about our business separately. And stuff."

Urameshi looked at him funny - that textbook Urameshi scowl was sitting in his eyebrows, and Kuwabara was almost a little bummed that this dumb face might be the last one he'd see of his former friend - and then it appeared to dawn on him. "You figured a lotta stuff out, Kuwabara," he said.

"Yeah, well, _sorry_ for wanting to know if I'm down a best friend or not."

"No, no, you figured a _lot_ of it out, but not _all_ of it," Urameshi clarified. "Damnit, I was hoping you'd never figure it out at all."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it's embarrassing and gross and _queer_, that's why," said Urameshi, and then he appeared to realize what he'd said, and slipped a slow hand up to cover his mouth.

Kuwabara had to think on it for a moment, after his one-and-then-two. Embarrassing...and gross...and - _oh_.

"You don't hate me," he said slowly.

"No, Kuwabara, I don't hate you."

"You...kind of...the opposite of hate me."

"I guess you could say that, yeah."

And Kuwabara had to think on _that_ for a moment, too. How upset he'd been at the concept of Urameshi hating him. How irritated he got when Urameshi wore his hair in a stupid way or acted like an idiot in battle, and how cool he felt when he did something that really made Urameshi happy. How goddamn smug Kurama had seemed earlier, like he'd known something that neither Kuwabara nor Urameshi had figured out yet. And suddenly, the purple all made sense.

So the next logical step, to Kuwabara's currently addled brain, seemed to be to reach out for the side of Urameshi's face, and to lean down toward him enough that they could connect from Urameshi's seated position and his own standing spot against the wall. Kuwabara, in his confusion - his body seemed to just be taking his brain along for the ride - was moving kind of slowly, but as soon as Urameshi figured out what was going on he rushed straight into it, and before Kuwabara could catch his breath, Urameshi had kissed it all straight out of him. Soon Kuwabara fell toward him on the chair, sitting practically on top of him, his own hands grabbing for a better purchase while Urameshi's stole up to grip against him, too. He forgot that there were other people there, people who were possibly watching; he forgot that up until a second ago, he'd been pretty pissed at Urameshi.

But what he didn't forget, despite the alcohol, was _synesthesia_, because Urameshi tasted like purple, and fire, and _awesome_.


End file.
